turn off.

one thing that turned me off tim was how he seemed to make an issue with my height. it's bad enough having shitty genes from my short ass parents- i don't need someone to basically use it against me and basically rub it in my face when it's something i CAN'T control. although i'm pretty sure he was trying to find the only flaw he could about me after he met me. i never complained or made any issues about his appearance. i'm also pretty sure he was trying to prove to his wife how he didn't show any attraction to me by pointing out my flaws. whatever. if someone has to go out of their way and say mean things about their friend's appearances JUST to prove they're not attracted to them- they're clearly insecure and should work on the trust and honesty part of their relationship so they're more secure about how they feel about friends and their connections to them, not to mention- they're not very good "friends" to me because you don't see me insulting anything about his appearance- in fact, i don't really remember insulting him at all. i'm sure they're more secure now though.. after a few years and i think they've raised a family together- which probably helps. i wouldn't know and i'm not sure i'll ever know about how families work and are ran because i don't wanna pass down generational trauma- which i'm POSITIVE was passed down on my mom's side. my mom is too stupid to recognize she's traumatized her own daughter.. or i could just use the word "selfish" and "uncaring" to describe how she feels also. i don't wanna take it out on another human being so they can continue the abusive cycle. i don't wanna take any risks- so birth control for me. some of us aren't selfish bums. i recognize having a child requires lots of love and responsibility and i'm not sure it's for me because i have enough to worry about at this point in my life. she never treated my sister the way she treats/treated me.. or my brother for example. i think it's got something to do with our fathers.. my brother and i have a different father than my sister and she may just have more spite for our father- so she takes it out on us and favors my sister.